


i'll have a blue christmas without you

by GucciAspirin



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas, F/F, Post canon, cos it's that time of the year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 10:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8841892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GucciAspirin/pseuds/GucciAspirin
Summary: Nico's sick, Maki's annoyed and bad Christmas movies are playing in the background. So basically, it's the perfect Christmas.





	

Maki gets the call 5 days before Christmas. 

 

She’s counting and watching the first years practice the new dance formation, when suddenly her phone begins to go off. She ignores it only to be called again. “Alisa, can you take this over?” 

 

She gives a sharp nod and takes Maki’s place in front of the first years. It comes natural to her just like it did Eli, and Maki watches for a moment before grabbing hold of her phone. Speaking (or thinking) of Eli… Maki looks at her phone, unsure for a moment. It isn’t typical for Eli to call out of the blue. Sure everyone who was in Muse keeps in touch and gets together, but for the most part it’s through text. 

 

She furrows her brow and wonders if it has something to do with Alisa. “Hello?” she asks slowly. 

 

“Maki!” Eli chirps. “Hey. How are you?”

 

_ Huh?  _ “Good, I guess? Why are you calling?” She doesn’t mean to sound blunt but it just kind of slips out.

 

“Oh. Right. Have you heard about Nico?”

 

Maki rolls her eyes and scoffs. Maki hasn’t heard from Nico since summer. Not that she cares or anything or thinks about it every other day or hovers over her number. “Considering my last two text to her have gone unanswered,” Maki says. 

 

There is a pause on the other line. “She’s sick.”

 

Maki’s heart speeds up. “Sick,” she swallows, “Like seriously sick? Does she need help?”

 

Eli chuckles. “No, no...just pneumonia. I thought she’d tell you,” the last part is uttered underneath her breath. “She’s been working hard and didn’t catch it for a little while. Thought it was a cold, so she had to spend a night at the hospital.” Maki grimaces, but then is once again filled with annoyance. Does Nico not pick up her fucking phone anymore? Maki knows she’s busy with the idol stuff, but she didn’t think - Maki sighs, cutting her thoughts off. “It’ll take a little while for recovery.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“ _ Maakiii,”  _ Rin calls out. “Who are you on the phone with.”

 

“Eli,” Maki calls out. “I’ll be there in a second. 

 

“Oh! How is she?”

 

“Rin asked how you were.”

 

Eli laughs against the phone. “Good. Tell her I’ll be down to visit in a few days if she wants to stop by our house.”

 

“She’s coming to visit soon.”

 

Alisa stops counting. Sara, one of the first years, stumbles. “We’re having a party a few days before christmas since sis is gonna be out with Nozomi and Nico, skiing for the holiday.”

 

“Skiing?” Maki says into the phone, and then at Alisa, “Keep counting, we only have a couple days of practice left since we agreed to break for the winter holidays.”

 

Alisa blushes and turns. 

 

“Yeah, that’s kind of why I was calling,” Eli says, her voice waning. “She’s not going to be able to come with us. We tried to tell her we’d stay, but you know Nico…”

 

“Not sure I do,” Maki murmurs. 

 

“Come on, Maki,” she says it with a hint of a scolding. “Her family is coming up for a day but the apartment is a little cramped, and she doesn’t want to be fawned over by them on christmas day.”

 

“What does this have to do with me?”

 

Eli pauses before sucking in a breath. “I know this is asking _ a lot,  _ but she’s going to be alone on Christmas.”

 

“And I’m supposed to visit?” Maki clenches her fist. 

 

“Just think about it, okay? It’s only an hour away and I think it would make things a little less miserable for her. No one wants to be alone on the Holidays. We’d stay, but it would just make her feel guilty at this point.”

 

“I doubt Daddy would even let me,” Maki says. “Besides, she hasn’t talked to me since I visited over the summer.”

 

“She’s been busy,” Eli says with some sentiment. “You know how she can get caught up in things. Again, just think about it. Please?”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Maki says. “But now I have to get back to practice.”

 

“Okay, bye. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

 

“Bye.” Maki brushes her hair back and breathes in and out slowly before walking over. “Thanks Alisa.”

 

“What was that about?” Hanayo asks. 

 

“Nico has pneumonia.” 

 

Rin pouts and leans in closer to Maki, resting her hands on her shoulder. “You gonna visit and take care of her, nya?” She wiggles her eyebrows and Maki steps away causing Rin to stumble. 

 

“Wh -- why would I want to do that?” Hanayo and Rin both give each other a look. “Alright, guys. Practice. One, two, three--”

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Maki is finishing up her duties as president when her phone rings once again. She picks it up and sees Nozomi. That’s not so surprising since Nozomi will typically call a few times a month, so Maki ignores it. The phone rings again.

 

Hanayo looks up. “You can get it if you want,” she says. “We don’t have much work left, let’s take a break.” She grins and stretches out her arms. 

 

“You sure?” Her phone is still going off.    
  


“Mm hmm!”

 

Maki sighs and answers. “Hey.”

 

Nozomi laughs on the line. “Tired?” she asks. 

 

“Getting the student council work finished before break.” She runs a hand through her hair, and waits for Nozomi to speak. She doesn’t really have time for smalltalk. 

 

“Did you hear about Niccochi?”

 

Great, this again. “Yes,” Maki says. “I still don’t know. I haven’t even talked to my father about it, and he’ll probably say no.”

 

“She misses you, you know?”

 

“Actually I don’t.”

 

Nozomi gives a breathy sigh. “She has her reasons. Anyways, you coming by would be a nice surprise, I’m sure!”

 

“Does she even know what you guys are up too?” Maki asks. 

 

Nozomi pauses and Maki can tell she’s grinning, always mischievous. “The cards tell me fortune might be coming your way soon.”

 

“Considering it’s Christmas, I’d hope so.”

 

“Oh, Maki…” she lets out a breathy laugh. “I’ll talk to you later, okay!” With that, Nozomi drops the line. 

 

...Okay. 

 

“Was she asking about Nico?” Hanayo asks while hunched over paperwork. 

 

Maki hums. “I don’t know why they think Nico wants to see  _ me _ so badly, of all people,” Maki says in a low voice. She twirls a strand of hair around her finger.

 

“I think you do,” Hanayo sings, teasing almost. The tips of her lips are tilted up. “Anyways, do you want to see her? That’s what it comes down to. At least, I think.”

 

Maki feels her face heat up. “I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter considering Daddy will say no.”

 

“Okay,” Hanayo chirps. There is something in it that’s contradictory, like she’s challenging Maki. Maki misses when she was timid sometimes. 

 

“Really, I don’t.”

 

“Sure.” She looks up and smiles again.

 

* * *

 

 

Maki decides that she’ll go if Daddy says yes, which is highly improbable considering they have a clear cut christmas tradition. Even though Maki knows the truth about Santa since  _ someone  _ (Honoka) accidentally told Maki about the harsh realities of life last year when she forgot that Maki didn’t know. Nico had been there and laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. 

 

Maki got even more upset with Nico than Honoka, and then Nico had made it up by dressing up as Santa the next day. Of course it was ruined when Nico told Maki to sit on her lap - because, like, why would Maki want to do that?  _ Stupid… _ (she kind of wanted to take the offer).

 

Maki swallows thinking about the memory, and that small bit of yearning in her chest spreads and spreads when she thinks about Nico. She wraps a strand of hair around her finger and walks up to her Father. “Daddy...Mother,” she says, chewing the inside of her cheek. 

 

He turns in his chair, and her Mom lifts up her head. “What is it, sweetie?”

 

Maki finds herself explaining the situation and trying to persuade him more than she planned considering originally she was just going for the bare minimum. She tells him about Nico being really sick and being alone on Christmas and wonders if maybe,  _ maybe  _ she could spend that night over there. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s spent the night over at Nico, Nozomi and Eli’s apartment, anyways.

 

He clucks his tongue. “Well...if you really want to do that we can do christmas the day before.” He leans in and winks. “I’ll talk to Santa about saving gifts.” Right, Maki never told him that she found out the truth. Oops. 

 

“Really?” she asks. It wasn’t supposed to go over that well. 

 

“It really shows what a good friend you are,” her Mom says. She leans in and kisses Maki on the cheek. 

 

Oh. Okay…

 

Once she’s in her room, Maki pulls out her phone and texts Nozomi and Eli:  _ I’m staying the night for christmas. _

 

Nozomi sends back:  _ ;) Thanks _

 

Eli:  _ Thank you so much! It’s going to mean a lot to her… _

 

* * *

 

 

Maki arrives Christmas afternoon, waves the driver off and walks up stairs to Nico’s apartment. She rings the bell after three long breaths. It’s been over four months since she’s heard anything from Nico. 

 

The first thing Maki hears is a grumpy, coarse and loud,  _ “Who is it?!” _

 

She smiles a little despite herself before bristling. “Maki!” 

 

There is the sound of fumbling followed by a confused string of curses. Nico opens the door. Her hair is down and falls around her cheeks. Idly Maki thinks about how they’ve gotten fuller in the past couple years, though as far as height goes she’s only gained an inch. 

 

Nico looks her up and down. She’s got bags under her eyes and a bright red nose, but when she smiles and her eyes look less dull. Nico leans in as far as she can, wraps an arm tight around Maki without saying anything. She rests her head in the crook of Maki’s neck and puts weight onto her, and Maki just holds on for a moment before embracing her back. She’s warm, though it could just be the heat radiating out from the apartment, or fever. Still, Maki’s heart speeds up and her breathing gets heavy and she lets herself revel in the feeling of how much she  _ missed  _ Nico despite being pissed. 

 

Nico lets go, gives a breathy laugh. Maki can practically hear how filled up her lungs are. “What are you doing here?” 

 

She backs away and lets Maki step in with her overnight bag. “Nozomi and Eli told me about you getting sick, and -” she stops. Maki doesn’t want to say:  _ I didn’t want you to be alone. _ It sounds so personal. “I thought I’d keep company, is all.”

 

Nico leans in and gives this smug smile, “You missed m--” she falls forward and Maki rushes to catch her. “Ow.”

 

“Idiot.”

 

Nico rolls her eyes and closes the door behind Maki before making her way back to the couch. Maki looks at the TV in front of Nico. It’s turned on to some corny christmas movie. “So this has been your christmas?” Maki asks, sliding the coat off of her arms. 

 

Nico glares and collapses on the couch. “Not like I had much of a choice.” She gestures to her chest.

 

Maki takes the seat next to her, folds her arms. “What the hell happened, anyways? Why didn’t you see a doctor when you first started feeling bad?” she only sounds a little annoyed despite being  _ very  _ annoyed.

 

Nico sighs and shrugs. “Dunno. I thought it was a simple cold, and we were so close to the deadline I guess I just thought it would pass. But then I fainted at a rehearsal.” She leans her head back against the couch, then jerks forward and gives a series of low coughs. “So, now the tour is postponed, which means more studio time for Nico!” 

 

Maki sees the obvious disappointment despite Nico winking at her. She moves closer so that their thighs nearly touch. “But other than that, how are things?”

 

“Good! Nico is still set out to be the greatest idol in the universe. Just a small setback. At least my pneumonia isn’t contagious...things would be a nightmare if Nico went and go her entire team sick! But anyway, how is  _ Ma-ki _ ,” she says in a gravely, but singsong voice. 

 

“Why’d you say it like that?”

 

“Say it like what?  _ Ma-ki! _ ”

 

“You’re so weird.”

 

“You’re not answering my question.”

 

“Fine, I guess. Things with the group are going well, school council is...well, school council.”

 

“What about schools? You figure out what you wanna do?”

 

Maki tugs at a piece of hair. “I think medical school, still. I’m not sure, exactly. I’m looking at places that have good programs for medical studies and music.” She looks at Nico and gives a tight smile. 

 

Nico leans in and takes her hand, grasps them firmly. She opens her mouth as if to say something, but then shuts it. Maki thinks about clasping their hands together and letting their fingers lock, but before she can, Nico moves away. “Why are you spending Christmas with me?” Nico asks. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but it’s gotta be boring, right?” She coughs into her elbow.

 

“I had christmas last night,” Maki says. “Besides, it’s not like I have Santa to look forward to anymore.” At that she glares. It’s still upsetting, and to think of all the preparation she used to do for him. Making sure the maid cleaned the fireplace, making sure the chef made cookies, always leaving handmade notes...

 

“If Maki  _ really  _ wants, she can still sit on Nico’s lap.”

 

Maki can feel warmth rising to her face. She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Did you, Nozomi and Eli do something?” Maki asks. In the corner of the apartment is a small, fake christmas tree, though there are no presents underneath. 

 

“Yeah, early christmas. I really wanted to go skiing,” she grumbles. 

 

“So you could get even more sick?”

 

“Ha, ha. Very funny.” Nico looks at the tv to where some couple is kissing. “Dammit, I missed the ending.” 

 

“Don’t worry I’m sure something equally bad is going to play next.” 

 

Nico turns and glares at Maki before looking back to the TV where sure enough, another movie begins playing right away. Just as corny as the last with bad editing and bad acting. Maki sits and watches it for a few minutes, then watches Nico. 

 

“What are you looking at?” Nico asks. 

 

“You hungry?”

 

Nico turns her head to face Maki, raises one brow. “You gonna cook? Pneumonia is bad enough, I don’t need food poisoning on top of that.”

 

Maki throws a fleece pillow at Nico’s face. “I was going to ask if you had something I could bring out of the kitchen. Left overs? Soup?” 

 

“Actually yeah! Eli made a roast the other night and there should be some in the fridge. Just...when you microwave don’t forget to take off the foil this time.”

 

Maki stands and glares. You accidentally start a small fire in the beach house kitchen one time, then suddenly everyone's a critic. “I knew that.”

 

“Of course you did.”

 

Maki goes and finds the roast, setting up two places. She sits on the counter, thinking about Nico. A part of her wants to ask why the hell Nico just stopped talking to her, what has she been doing, what did Maki do? But it feels like an inquisition, and Maki can’t exactly ask that without revealing how she feels. 

 

The microwave beeps, and Maki takes out the roast with a towel. She brings out the plates and sets it on the table in front of Nico. 

 

Nico looks up. “Thanks. You know, one day I should teach you how to cook.”

 

That would require you actually being around, Maki almost says. She doesn’t though, choosing to sit next to Nico instead. They eat with the movie playing. Maki zones in and out, sometimes takes glances at Nico. The movies follow the same formula, for the most part. 

 

In any case, Maki can’t find it in herself to be bored. Not when she’s with Nico and there is this buzzing in her chest and a feeling that she can only describe as safe. 

 

When the 3rd movie ends, Maki grabs the remote and turns the volume down. 

 

“Hey,” Nico grumbles, “what the heck are you doing? Holiday in handcuffs is about to come on.”

 

Maki doesn’t even wanna know. “I um...got you something.” She fishes into her overnight bag and pulls out a wrapped package. “I thought it would be weird if I didn’t since I just popped over for christmas and it really isn’t that big of a deal, but,” she hands it over. Just something that she bought a few days ago…

 

Nico grins, and then clears her throat. “I actually have something too. For you. It’s in my room, though,” she mutters. Her face is tinted pink, eyes downcast. She stands up. “I’ll be back…”

 

Maki watches her in confusion. Something for her? She didn’t even know Maki was going to be over, though. Maki waits for a good ten minutes until Nico comes back in. She still looks weak. Maki should scold her about working too hard, being careless. But it’s christmas, so she’ll do it tomorrow.

 

When Nico sits down she hands over a wrapped package. It’s lumpy and Maki has no idea what it could be. “Can I open?” she asks.

 

Nico smiles; her ears are red. “Sure.”

 

Maki lets her nail cut under the edge. She feels the smooth, cold outside of glass and then something metallic. Piece by piece she starts to realize what it is. A snow globe. Not one like she’s ever seen though. The top is a cylinder jar, the bottom sculpted metal - silver from the look of it. There is an inscription on it, a simple:  _ Merry Christmas, Love Nico ~ _

 

Inside the jar is fake snow, in the middle a made up bench with what Maki assumes to be her and Nico sitting on it. There are tiny snowmen surrounding the bench, and a house behind it. A small christmas village. 

 

“Twist the bottom and it turns,” Nico mumbles. 

 

Maki feels under until she catches something that feels like a can tab, she twists, and inside the tiny village moves. “Nico…” she says slowly, still looking at it. She leans in and hugs her by impulse, arms catching on Nico’s shoulders and hands running down her arms. 

 

Nico grins when she pulls away. “I made it with Cocoro when I visited a few weeks ago. I didn’t know what else to get you, so…”

 

Maki stills. “You visited?” she asks, “and you didn’t even come by?” It slips out and she doesn’t mean for her voice to crack. “And why am I just now seeing this? If I didn’t come by would you have just... not given it to me?”

 

Nico’s eyes widen. “Maki, I--”

 

Maki runs one hand through her hair. “What the hell has been up with you? Ever since summer you haven’t called or texted or-” Maki stops. “If you don’t want to be around me anymore, or don’t care to, just let me know,” she says quietly. She looks away and breathes slowly to steady her heart rate.

 

She remembers the last time they were together. It was all of Muse, but Maki remembers feeling like it was just the two of them at times. Remembers talking outside late at night with Nico, and Nico telling her about her blossoming idol career, and Maki telling Nico about school. 

 

Maki remembers thinking that she’d finally confess to Nico, or kiss her or something. Maybe things would be different now if she did. 

 

“That’s not it,” Nico says. She leans, the couch dipping below her body. “Hey, Maki. Look at me, okay?” Nico reaches out and grabs Maki’s chin with her hand. 

 

Maki’s too embarrassed to look directly into her eyes. “It’s stupid,” she says. 

 

Nico sighs. “You’re crying.”

 

“No I’m not.”

 

“Well you look like you’re about to cry.”

 

Maki tries to turn her face, but Nico catches her and makes it so she can’t move her head. “What?” Maki snaps. “Please, it’s fine. Just open your gift and we can move on from this, okay?”

 

“I don’t want you to leave me behind,” Nico says, and then, “or slow you down.”

 

“What?”

 

Nico lets her hand drop, leans her body in further and kisses Maki. Her lips are dry but warm, and Maki’s chest feels heavy. After a moment Maki lets her eyes flutter shut, getting passed the initial shock of it. She lets it happen, the press of Nico’s mouth on hers, the hand that idly comes up to twine in her hair. Maki brings her own hand up, and moves her thumb up to rest in the divot of Nico’s cheek. 

 

Nico pulls away just a little, her damp breath still ghosting across Maki’s mouth, noses touching. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?” Nico asks. She then laughs, dry. Maki remembers that she’s sick, but can’t be bothered to care. 

 

Maki’s eyes are still closed, but she leans in and kisses Nico again, light and short. Slowly slowly slowly she opens her eyes to find Nico staring. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted you to do that?”  

 

Nico glares, but there isn’t any malice in it. “Then why didn’t you make the first move, you jerk?” 

 

Maki pushes her away with both hands. She doesn’t know how she loves someone so utterly frustrating. “Don’t turn this on me,” she says, “and that doesn’t explain why the hell you haven’t been keeping in contact with me, or anyone else in Muse for that matter,” she adds, mostly so she won’t seem as needy as she sounds. 

 

“Because, you’re going to graduate soon, and I didn’t even know you  _ liked  _  me. I just thought that if I distanced myself it would help for when you decided you didn’t...” Nico trails off, the sentence dying down.

 

“Idiot,” Maki mumbles. It’s the kindest word she can think to call Nico at the moment. “So you thought cutting off contact without talking to me would make things better?”

 

Nico shrinks and scratches her head. “I just - I wanted to prepare for when you left.” The  _ me _ goes unsaid, and Maki’s stomach tightens.

 

Maki rolls her eyes. “Well did you?” she asks. “Prepare, I mean.” 

 

“Obviously not considering I want to do  _ that _ again,” Nico says while looking off to the side. “But I--” 

 

Maki leans in and kisses Nico again. “Stop talking. You’re making it worse,” Maki says. “Whatever you were trying to do didn’t work because I - I don’t ever want to leave you. Even if I move, I don’t want to be with anyone but you.” Maki looks down at her lap. 

 

Nico blinks twice, slow blinks. “Then why didn’t you say anything?!”

 

_ “Why didn’t you?”  _ Maki shoots back. 

 

“I’ve been flirting with you for how long?”

 

Is she serious? Maki throws her hands up in the air. “You do that with everyone!” 

 

“Oh, really? When did I ask Eli to sit on my lap?” Nico’s eyebrows are furrowed, face hard. 

 

Maki opens her mouth to say something, but then shuts it tight so she can think about what to say next. She hadn’t thought about it as flirting. “I thought you were just, I don’t know, trying to get a rise out of me.”

 

“Well I was but only because I’ve been in love with you since I was in highschool,” Nico says and she doesn’t seem to catch the fact that she said the word _love_ until a moment later. Her face goes from annoyed to shocked.

 

Maki’s heart nearly beats out of her ribcage. “Well, I feel the same way,” Maki mutters, her voice shaky. “So how would  _ I  _ know?”

 

“You love me?” Nico asks. 

 

“Why the hell would I be here if I didn’t?” Maki asks. “Who wants to spend christmas with someone they don’t love?” Maki curls a strand of hair around her finger. She looks up and can’t help but feign a small grin at the look on Nico’s face. A mixture of shock and awe. “Are you ever going to open that?” Maki says a moment later, looking down at the still wrapped box.

 

It knocks Nico out of her stupor and she grabs the box. She laughs to herself when the gift is unraveled. “Wifi hotspot and portable phone charger,” Nico says, raising one eyebrow. “You really did miss me.” 

  
Maki shakes her head, mumbles a quick, “Shut up,” and kisses Nico again before turning back to the tv. “So which gross Christmas movie is next?”

**Author's Note:**

> i know, they kissed when nico is sick. they're gross.


End file.
